Dear student who romanticizes everything,
At some point you’re going to realize that nothing is enough to motivate you anymore. No amount of pretty pens and highlighters, no array of Pinterest boards or studygram inspiration is going to be enough to push you forward.
During my sophomore year of high school I received the highest GPA level that I’ve ever received in my life. I’d fall asleep pinning beautifully crafted and highly posed photos of the people studying. I only did well because of the image I wanted to create for myself as the perfect student, but that was all motivation and artificiality.
During my junior year of high school I did well in school because I played water polo and I was so determined the attain the image of the brainy student athlete. I was obsessed with giving off the impression that I was on on my utmost grind every single night without rest.
During my senior year of high school COVID-19 hit and I fell apart. I stopped trying in my classes and by the grace of God I still managed to achieve straight A’s. At this time I had found out that I’d be attending UCLA the next fall. I scraped up some last minute motivation because I was just too excited about becoming a Bruin and if I slacked off then I’d be risking my opportunity.
During my first year of college I experienced what I would describe as the tier above senioritis. This would be a more severe and rare case where the symptoms of senioritis are heightened to the extreme. After 18 years of cultivating my perfectionism, I dropped out of my economics class the day before the midterm. I hadn’t studied for it whatsoever because while I was stuck in a state of anxious paralysis I discovered a newfound interest in sociology.
Alright, so what’s the point of all this? Well in order for me to go out of my comfort zone and enter back into a headspace where I could sit down and study for more than 10 minutes at a time, I needed to find something beyond motivation. I needed to discovered a love for studying that went beyond an image I was trying to live out as business girl boss and truly dig deeper and reflect on what matters to me. I had an awakening where I realized that romanticism wouldn’t carry me through the next four years of my life.
Don’t get me wrong, romanticize the little things in your life. Romanticize everything, it is what makes life so enriching. However, don’t let it guide your livelihood.
So what did I find? I discovered the wonderful gift of having drive. I reflection on my passion for serving others and I let it take over. When you have drive, it’s even better than motivation because it’s like having motivation 24/7.
TL;DR — Student, walk away today being wise enough to be driven by your passions and not simply motivated by images. Romanticize experiences, but don’t let them guide your path. You will quickly burn out because one day you wake up and realize it was all for show and nothing was left for true fulfillment. Get on your knees and ask God to reveal to you what your drive is in this life.
Love,
Your sister.
